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The Addams Family is an American family best-known for producing an excessive number of U.S. Presidents. The Roosevelts are in a tie, but not in such short order; so too would be the Clintons, except for certain "deplorable" voters. The Kennedys showed comparable potential, except that various assassins showed more.
John Addams was born on October 30, 1735 in Quincy, Massachusetts. However, creepily, he was not known as John Quincy Addams, as that would be the other one, who was not known as anything at the time. John was the son of a cordwainer, also named John and also not named Quincy. He was a Puritan, railing against libertinage and debauchery. And he was a Federalist. All pretty creepy, at least the archaic verbiage. (more...)
Previously featured article – Finnish sauna
The Sauna (pronounced SOW-NAH), or "Really Hot Place Containing Naked People" is a Finnish invention that many nations (i.e. Russia) falsely claim to have invented (See liar),[1] It was first recorded in the year 1050 B.C (Before cookies) by the Sosumi people in the Arctic Circle as a range of sounds to use everytime they hooked in a seal for dinner. (more...)
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*... Edward Scissorhands was never capable of running with scissors, much less a scissor?
- ... the Earth is indeed hollow, but you might fall off the edge trying to find the entrance?
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| Word of the Day
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Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
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| In the news
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| On this day...
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April 26: Hyperbole Day
- Millions of years ago - Hyperbole Day is founded in the most spectacular ceremony since the dawn of time.
- 1756 - The exclamation point is born on this fantastic day!
- 1834 - The best day in all of history! There'll never ever be another day like it! It's AMAZING!
- 1922 - Warren G. Harding's popularity is at an all time high! New York Times: "Harding is the best president ever!"
- 1935 - Champagne toasts and caviar dreams greet newborn Robin Leach!
- 1944 - Concentration camp deaths in Poland reach a new zenith! Hitler asks, "Who knew Jews could be so results oriented?"
- 1965 - The mildest day in the history of the universe. No other day was as mild. Ever.
- 1975 - The worst day in the history of the universe, so much so that no one mentions it and so we no longer know when it was. But we do know that it was some time between 1965 and 1988.
- 1986 - Ronald Reagan stays awake for an entire cabinet meeting!
- 1986 - The Chernobyl nuclear power plant randomly asploded after Cher poured vodka into the reactor instead of plutonium.
- 1988 - A group of the world most talented musicians come together to write the greatest song in the history of the world. It has a sound so astonishingly incredible and so incredibly beautiful that people come from all over the world just to hear it played at its one and only live performance at the grandest stadium in the world, the Metrodome.
- 1990 - Oprah is so hungry she could eat a horse. Twice!
- 2006 - Pete Wentz of Fall Out Boy spews out sperm so high it touches the stars.
- 2011 - I just had sex! And it felt so good!!! Ya know a woman let me put my penis inside her!!! Say goodbye to cats!!!!!
- 2016 - You become a 1337 haxor for 5 seconds before going back to being a n00b.
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| Today's featured picture
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The M822 Hand Grenade is an explosive device that resembles a hand. On activation, the device lunges towards the nearest throat or throat-like object and latches on tight with its five "fingers" exploding violently in a gruesome mess. Special care must be taken when activating the grenade. When activated, one should run behind the nearest wall or bush and squat down, so that the grenade cannot "see" you.
Photo credit: Mosquitopsu
Archive - Nominate new image
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| Writer and Noob of the Month
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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
Now you only have 4, yes 4 days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month, GET VOTING!!
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