Main Page Real

left

Welcome to Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit. 37,243 articles in English

Politics Games Music

Science History Art

Television Film Theatre

Society People All Portals

Today's featured article – Rastadon The Rastadon (Mamut rastadonis) is a mammalian species often confused with the more common Mastodon. The Rastadon was more intelligent, had a more complex social structure, and showed many other attributes usually associated with humanity, such as their own religion and communual smoking. The species now has only one living member and will go extinct when he rolls up his last reefer. The Rastadon was discovered on February 3, 2007, by one Dr. Professor Ima Walrus, who got his Ph.D. in Zoology at Gotham University, as well as Tom Freebird, who had a B.A. in Sociology, and a minor in Taylor Swift, from Michigan Tech. Their historic discovery was found fifty miles north of Rastos, Nebraska. To date, only one skeleton of a Rastadon has ever been found, where it is currently still in active use. After many tests, Dr. Professor Walrus and Mr. Freebird found that the Rastadon's turn-offs included tobacco cigarettes, uniforms, sirens, and corporate life. Whereas its turn-ons included: pistachio ice cream, herbal medicine, large hollow plastic figurines with pipes sticking out of them, and snack foods. (more...) Recently featured: The Addams Family Finnish sauna The B-52s Archive Vote for featured articles Previously featured article – The Addams Family The Addams Family is an American family best-known for producing an excessive number of U.S. Presidents. The Roosevelts are in a tie, but not in such short order; so too would be the Clintons, except for certain "deplorable" voters. The Kennedys showed comparable potential, except that various assassins showed more. (more...) Featured today, a long long time ago Cordial, featured on 17 May 2023. See the featured version. Did you know... *... that you're late for work? ... that you use only 10% of your brain? ... and everyone else uses 100%? ... thanks to a transporter accident, the joke about suicide bombers' 72 virgins being Star Trek geeks is older than Islam? ... Time travel from the US now requires screening by TSA agents? ... but that you can just skip forward in time and avoid it? ... that the The Root of All Evil is fishsticks? ... that you can't wear my sweatshirt? It's mine!

In the news Ukraine minister charged with corruption French guard Buckingham Palace (pictured) Congressman inadvertently uses hurtful slur, millions traumatized Royal shock as original photo discovered Biden v Trump rematch confirmed UK bans puberty for children Germany spills British military secrets Scientists meld nuclear fusion and AI Brits make book on King Charles cancer U.S. returns to the moon Miami aliens finger new Epstein clients Israel boasts of precision in bombings it didn't do Ukraine destroys large Russian warship, again GOP will have no candidates in 2024 Argentina goes off the deep end On this day... May 19: Do What You Were Supposed to Do on May 18th Day (procrastinators) A long, long time ago - Jedi Purge Day. 3141 BCE - The world is invented, no one notices. pi - Someone decides that really long numbers are cool but hard to write down. 1743 - Jean-Pierre Christin invents the centigrade scale so scientists can tell exactly how badly they burn their dinners. 1861 - Nellie Melba is born. She would go on to invent peaches and toast. 1911 - Parks Canada is created so that there will be plenty of parking spaces for moose in the country. 1922 - The United States quota on immigration is repealed after Congress unanimously votes to force everyone on Earth to live in the United States. 1971 - The Soviet Union's space program releases Mars 2, the sequel to the hit Planet Mars. Due to budget cutbacks, Mars 2 has four holes in its center, and appears to be two dimensional. (pictured) 1997 - Chunnel declares civil war, dividing into North Chunnel and South Chunnel. 1999 - Jar Jar Binks's lead role in the movie Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace earns him much popularity, mostly in KKK circles. George Lucas continues to be the most popular person to be hanged in effigy. 2005 - Attempting to stay in business, the free encyclopedia Wikipedia sells advertisements using a bizarre method: for one hundred dollars, you can have every noun in any one sentence replaced with your product's name permanently. 2005 - Attempting to parody Wikipedia, Uncyclopedia sells Pepsi-Colas using a bizarre formula: for one hundred Pepsi-Colas, Pepsi-Cola can have every Pepsi-Cola in any one Pepsi-Cola replaced with your Pepsi-Cola's Pepsi-Cola permanently. 2019 - Uncyclopedia suddenly doesn't suck. Colonization of the Week For the glory of her majesty Help us clear the ivy of crap, and plant the seeds of humour.

Today's featured picture
[vote] TheLuffahwaffe.png TheLuffahwaffe.png - 7 total votes ( 8 / 1 ) Most people don't remember that during WWII the Germans made huge developments in cleaning their enemies. Image credit: Zombiebaron and Lyrithya

Writer and Noob of the Month

GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

Uncyclopedia's sista projects

Uncyclopedia is an independent humor writing project, a non-profitable cabal that also hosts a range of other projects.

	UnNews The news source on crack		Uncyclopedia The content-free encyclopedia		Undictionary The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
	UnTunes Where noisy things can live and prosper		Games Another way to waste time		HowTo Instructions and guides for anything and everything
	UnBooks Content-free books		Unquotable Useless misquotes galore		Uncycloversity If it makes sense, we don't want it
	UnPoetia Poetry for people who hate poetry		UnDebate Debating all the irrelevant issues		UnScripts We can ruin stage and film too
	Why? Don't make me explain it to you twice		UnReviews We'll tell you why things suck		UnBestiary Moo! Grrr! Narf! Harblesnock!
			UnCommons Broken media repository

Uncyclopedia languages

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 37,243 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:

	Uncyclopedia English United Kingdom 32194	Desciclopédia Português Brazil 55644	アンサイクロペディア 日本語 Japan 20675	Nonsensopedia Polski Poland 18266	Nonciclopedia Italiano Italy 14849
	Désencyclopédie Français France 10073	Inciclopedia Español Spain 5708	偽基百科 正體中文 Taiwan 6652	Uncyclopedia.de Deutsch Germany 14	Hikipedia Suomi Finland 8002
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. We know you're doing much better now; we simply can't be bothered.

Other Uncyclopedias

	백괴사전 한국어 South Korea 7103	ไร้สาระนุกรม ไทย Thailand 3473	Pekepedia Tagalog Philippines 276	Bodohpedia Bahasa Melayu Malaysia 143	伪基百科 汉语 Commie China 8411
	איןציקלופדיה עברית Israel 2224	קיינציקלאָפעדיע יידיש Yiddish 11	Tolololpedia Bahasa Indonesia Indonesia 8281	Ndhablek Basa Jawa Java 4	Goblogpedia Basa Sunda Sunda 4
	Yansiklopedi Türkçe Turkey 873	اللاموسوعة العربية Iraq 1329	نانشنامه فارسی Iran 594	ანციკლ ოპედია ქართული Georgia 40	Uncyclopedia.km ភាសាខ្មែរ Cambodia 0
	Spademanns Leksikon Dansk Denmark 9618	Ikkepedia Norsk Norway 4685	Ikkjepedia Norsk (nynorsk) Norway	Psyklopedin Svenska Sweden 2549	Անգրագ իտարան Հայերեն Armenia 26
	Valenciclopèdia Català Andorra 582	Nunyepedia Asturianu Asturias 56	Desgalipedia Galego Galicia 6213	Oisquipèdia Occitan Occitania 47	আনসাইক্ল োপিডিয়া বাংলা Bangladesh 19
	Φρικηπαίδεια Ελληνικά Greece 2853	Scotypedia Scots Scotland 9	Frithchiclipéid Gaeilge Ireland 11	ວິກິພີເດຍ ລາວ Laos 10	Necyclopædia Latina Vatican City 188
	Нециклопедија Српски Serbia 463	Neciklopedija Bosanski Bosnia 27	Neciklopediju Hrvatski Croatia 303	Butalopedija Slovenščina Slovenia 30	Википедија Македонски Macedonia 170
​	Oncyclopedia Nederlands Holland 3082	Kwatsjpedia Limburgs Limburgs 19	Necyklopedie Česky Czech Republic 3971	Necyklopedia Slovenčina Slovakia 1899	Unciklopédia Magyar Hungary 1776
​	Оксипедия Български Bulgaria 258	Neciclopedie Română Romania 174	Uichipedia Молдовеняскэ Moldova 84	Інциклопедія Українська Ukraine 1177	Абсурдопедия Русский Russia 4303
​	Ebatsüklopeedia Eesti Estonia 96	Neciklopēdija Latviešu Latvia 158	Juokopedija Lietuvių Lithuania 276	Neciklopedio Esperanto Esperanto 4720	Unsaiklopedia 𐌲𐌿𐍄𐌹𐍃𐌺‬ Goths 12
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. We know you're simply bustling these days, but we simply can't be bothered.

Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Clinjas.